* Your opening line is "So whats your home page address?"

* Your best friend is someone you've never met.

* You see a beutiful sunset and you half expect to see 'Enhanced for
Netscape' on one of the clouds.

* You are overcome with disbelief, anger and, finally, depressed acceptance
when you encounter a Web page with no links.

* You feel driven to consult the Cool Page of the Day on your wedding day.

* You are driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on a
puddle, sending your car careening toward a flimsy guard rail that separates
you the precipice of a rocky cliff and certain death. You look for the Back
button.

* You visit The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything again and again
and again.

* Your dog has his own Web page.

* So does your hamster.

* And the No. 1 sign that you've overdosed on the Web - when you read a
magazine, you have an irrestible urge to click on the underlined passages.