1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last
15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do
some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre,
I've got the secret documents!!

3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it
is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be
creative. Use the integral symbol.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the
instructor's left nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud,
debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop,
yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start
talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

6. Bring cheerleaders.

7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into
it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of
this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the
deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc...). Play with the
volume at max level.

9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new,
interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example:
I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts
with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

10. Bring pets.

11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe
a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I
have to leave the country" and run off.

12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers
into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell
out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another
copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this
process every fifteen minutes.

13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel
on your head, and nothing else.

15. Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam.
Be as vulgar as possible.

16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know
one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman
numerals.

17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not
looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going
to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the
instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor
to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to
stay.

20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things,
move to another seat, continue with the exam.

21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you
walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and
true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out
interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..).

23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions
and answers completely blacked out.

24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers
down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out
triumphantly.

25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten
the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all
leaving after one hour to go drink)

26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some
point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor
asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb
that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a
clapper. DUH!"

28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30
minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom
of the opera" until they drag you away.

30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where
you know the class is very small, and the instructor would
recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every
lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing
loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this
drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!"

32. Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.

33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to
Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When
they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling
the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest
proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers
into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything
to your own life story.

36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with
sword and shield.

37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way
through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have
bad circulation.

38. Bring cheat sheets TO ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is
obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise
you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and
staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the
attached notes for references as you see fit."

39. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip

40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to
any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

41. One word: Wrestlemania.

42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around
like they do before concerts start.

43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.

44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.

45. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next
to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams,
etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks,
chairs, anything you can reach.

48. Complete the exam with everything you write being
backwards at a 90 degree angle.

49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes.
If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think." Bring a copy
of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to
find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't
forget to use the phrase "Told you so".

50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor
xxxx Sucks"