B: "One time I was like, taking a dump in school, and it was a really gassy turd, hmm m heh, and
everyone in the hallway heard it and stuff. Yeah, hmm heh heh hmm m."
BH: "Yeah, gassy turds are cool. Remember when we went to Mexico with Dave and ended up in
the toilet with Mexican food turd? Huh huh, that was cool."
B: "Yeah, but I kinda had a case of KA though Butt-Head. That sucked."
BH: "But taking the dump itself was cool, huh huh huh."
B: "Hmm heh yeah hmm m heh, that was cool."

GHOST TURD
The kind where you feel the turd come out, but there isn't any turd in the toilet.

CLEAN TURD
The kind where you crap it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

WET TURD
The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some
toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin your paints with a stain.

SECOND WAVE TURD
It happens when you're done craping and you've pulled up your pants to your knees and you
realize that you have to crap some more.

POP A VEIN IN YOUR HEAD TURD
The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

RICHARD SIMMONS TURD
You crap so much you lose 30 pounds.

LINCOLN LOG TURD
The kind of turd that is so huge that you're afraid to flush it without breaking it into little pieces
with the toilet brush.

GASSY TURD
It's noisy and everyone within earshot is giggling. "That's cool" - Butt-Head

DRINKER TURD
The kind of turd you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is
the tread marks on the bottom of the toilet.
BH: "Hey Beavis, have you ever drank a beer?"
B: "Uh... yeah, hmm heh."
BH: "Oh yeah? Where'd you get it from?"
B: "This like, uh, guy gave it to me."
BH: "Liar. You've never drank a beer."
B: "Shutup Butt-Head!"

CORN TURD
Self-explanitory.

"GEE, I WISH I COULD TURD" TURD
It's the kind where you want to make a turd but all you do is sit on the toilet cramped and fart a few
times.

SPINAL TAP TURD
"Tap is cool" - Beavis
That's where it hurts so bad coming out you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

WET CHEEKS TURD (the power dump)
The kind that comes out of your butt so fast your cheeks get splashed with water.

LIQUID TURD
The kind where yellow-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

MEXICAN FOOD TURD
It smells so bad that the bathroom must be condemmed.

UPPERCLASS TURD
The kind that thinks their turd doesn't smell.

FISHERMAN'S BOBBER TURD
The kind where you are in a public restroom, there are two people waiting on you stall, you crap
and flush 2 times, but several golfball size pieces are still floating above the water line.

AMBUSH TURD
This kind never occurs at home, but usually at a party or while playing golf. It's the result of trying
to fart just a little, but you end up with trower chili and you have to walk bow-legged for the rest of
the day.